If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
A+ Viking dick
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
