I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
