so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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