Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
