They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
