I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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