She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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