Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
