I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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