Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
