I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize