tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
