Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
