I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
