they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize