SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
