I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
