Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
