I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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