when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hippo gnu deer
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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