its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
