you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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