p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
