hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
