i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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