Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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