I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
