drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize