My nipple is on Facebook.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
