How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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