Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize