Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
