I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize