he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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