"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
