Its about making memories worth repressing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
