Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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