i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
