I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
