This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
