Apparently you make a good broom.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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