Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
