Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
