Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
