so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
