Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
