what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
