Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
