Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
too bad you live with your parents still
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
