He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
