That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
