If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
