wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
