R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
