so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
