Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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