She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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