Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
