why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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