so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
