What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
