We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
